Purity culture taught us a lot of things, how to dress, how to act, how to remain “pure.” But one thing it never taught? How to hold men accountable.
Instead, we were taught to cover up, not just our bodies, but their behavior.
And when you’re married to the so-called “nice guy,” it becomes even more confusing. Because no one believes you when you start to call out the uncomfortable things you’ve seen. They just say, “Really? Him?”
But I was there. I saw it all. And this is what purity culture never prepared me for.
There’s a hard truth most people don’t want to hear: You can’t grow if you’re always blaming someone else.
We’ve all met people who think every bad thing in their life is someone else's fault. They’ve got a reason for everything. “I was late because of traffic.” “I didn’t get that promotion because my boss plays favorites.” “I can’t save money because bills keep piling up.” Sure, sometimes those things are true, but when it’s always something, it’s time to look inward.
This post isn’t for people going through genuinely hard times outside their control. This is about the people who live in a constant state of woe is me, never reflecting, never changing, and never growing, because taking responsibility would mean admitting they have a part in their own problems.
