How Parents Can Support Their Children in Their Teenage Years

The teenage years can feel like a whole new chapter, sometimes overnight. One minute your child is telling you everything, and the next they’re answering questions with a shrug, spending more time in their room, and seem to be both grown up and very young all at once.

It can be confusing and it can be emotional, and it can make parents feel like they’re always getting it wrong. But the fact is that support in the teenage years isn’t ever going to be perfect, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still try. Keep reading to find out more.

Keep Being There

Teenagers don’t always want obvious comfort - they might roll their eyes or act like they’re fine, but they’ll always notice who’s around and who’s there for them.

And support from you can be small things like giving them a lift somewhere, for example, or leaving a snack out for them, or asking how something went and not asking to have a full conversation about it. That’s all going to count for a lot even if it doesn’t seem that way.

Let Things Be Awkward Sometimes

Not every chat is going to have great back and forth and plenty of banter - sometimes your teen will just shut down altogether, and sometimes you’ll say something they take the wrong way (and vice versa, to be fair), and that’s okay because it’s normal. You’re not actors in a play, so sometimes the lines might not be quite right.

You don’t have to have a constant deep connection, which can be surprising, but once you understand that it’s going to help. What you will want to do is to create an atmosphere where they can talk if they want to, but they don’t have to. Eventually, they will.

Take Them Seriously

Teen feelings can sometimes come out very big, and something that seems minor to you might feel enormous to them.

Don’t tell them it’s nothing or that they shouldn’t worry about it and definitely don’t try to compare their issues with yours. The fact is, they’re upset, so instead of brushing it off just because you wouldn’t be concerned if it was you, and instead of going in the other direction and trying to fix everything, just take them seriously - they’ll feel safe when you do that.

Remember School Is a Big Part of Their World

So much of teenage life happens at school, like friendships, pressure, confidence, identity, and it’s all wrapped up together - plus they’ve got to learn and take tests and exams as well. That’s a lot.

That’s why the school and the environment are so important, and why some families look at the best international schools because they want the great pastoral support as well as academics.

Don’t Forget the Quiet Stuff

Support doesn’t have to be a long, deep conversation, and it can just be normality - in fact, a lot of the time, that’s exactly what your teen is going to want, even if they don’t actually come out and say it.

You could watch something silly together, for example, listen to the radio while you’re driving, and just keep the usual routines going even if things are messy and strange, as they often will be. Basically, teenagers need peace and calm a lot more than they need lectures.

Nanny to Mommy