So we had our 20 weeks anatomy scan on Monday and they gave us this.
The temptation is almost too much to handle.
The temptation is almost too much to handle.
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In a world filled with gender reveal parties, early anatomy scans, and blue-or-pink everything, waiting to find out your baby’s gender until delivery day might seem almost radical. But for some of us, it’s exactly what our hearts need — not to create suspense or buck tradition, but to protect our emotions, bond with our baby, and let love lead the way.
For me, waiting was a deeply personal decision. I wasn’t chasing a dramatic moment or looking to be different. I chose to wait because, deep down, I was afraid of gender regret. I worried that if I found out too soon, I might feel a flicker of disappointment — not because I wouldn't love my child, but because I had pictured things a certain way in my head.
Here’s why I believe waiting until delivery is one of the most meaningful choices I made — and why it might be the right choice for you too.
1. Anticipation Brings a Unique Kind of Joy
Pregnancy comes with a million emotions — excitement, exhaustion, anxiety, wonder. In the swirl of to-do lists and doctor appointments, waiting to find out the gender gave me something special to hold onto: a beautiful mystery. Something just for me and my growing baby.
Every time someone asked, “Do you know what you’re having?” and I answered, “We’re waiting until birth,” I felt a sense of peace. That unknown wasn’t stressful — it was freeing. It gave me a little thrill every day, like counting down to a once-in-a-lifetime surprise.
2. It Helped Me Focus on Who They Were — Not What They Were
When you don’t know the gender, your mind naturally wanders toward the person your baby is becoming. I thought about their personality, their laugh, the way they might hold my finger or look up at me in the middle of the night.
I wasn’t consumed with blue vs. pink or trying to check off a themed nursery list. I was preparing my heart to meet a child, not just a son or daughter. And that shifted the entire tone of my pregnancy.
3. It Protected Me From Gender Regret Before It Had a Chance to Form
I want to speak openly about something we don’t talk about enough: the fear of gender disappointment. It’s not that I didn’t want a boy or a girl — I simply knew I had mental images, dreams, and little daydreams that leaned one way. And I was scared that if I found out too early, I might have a hard time letting go of those imagined moments.
That’s why I waited. Because I knew that the moment my baby was placed in my arms, none of that would matter. Not a single bit. And I was right.
When delivery day came, and I heard those words — “It’s a…” — followed by the sound of my baby’s cry, I felt nothing but overwhelming love. No regret. No sadness. Just awe and joy. Any preference I thought I had evaporated in an instant.
Waiting gave me that grace. That clarity. That deep, grounded love.
4. It Helped Me Resist the Pressure of Gender Stereotypes
Let’s be real: the second the gender is known, the world starts assigning labels. And even though we may try to avoid it, it’s hard to completely tune out the pink bows or the baseball-themed onesies.
Waiting allowed me to slow down and skip all that. My baby’s clothes, nursery, and gifts were gender-neutral — soft greens, cozy creams, warm grays. Practical, calm, and versatile. It gave me breathing room and let me focus on preparing for a newborn, not a checklist tied to gender expectations.
5. The Delivery Room Surprise Was Everything
There is truly nothing like that moment. After the hours (or days) of labor, when your baby enters the world and someone finally announces their gender — it’s electric. It’s raw. It’s unforgettable.
We often say, “All that matters is a healthy baby,” but when you wait to find out the gender, you get to add a little bit of magic to that moment. It’s the kind of joy that fills the room and makes you forget every contraction.
6. It Gave Me a Story That’s Uniquely Ours
Now, when I share my birth story, it’s filled with anticipation, emotion, and that sacred surprise. My child will always know that I chose to wait — not because I didn’t care, but because I cared so much. I waited because I wanted our first moment to be purely about love, without any preloaded expectations or mental edits.
And when I look back, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Final Thoughts
If you’re pregnant and feeling torn about whether to find out your baby’s gender, I want to encourage you: it’s okay to wait. It’s okay to admit that you’re worried about how you’ll feel — that’s honest and human. But trust that once you hold that baby in your arms, whatever fear or preference you had will melt into something far richer: unconditional love.
Waiting may not be for everyone, but if you’re feeling even the smallest pull toward it, listen to that instinct. Give yourself permission to slow down. Let love surprise you.
Your baby, no matter what, will be exactly who you were meant to meet.
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Gosh the suspense must be killing you!! Do you have the envelope locked away in a safe? Thanks for hosting!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness!! The temptation must be horrific! lol
ReplyDeleteAre you gonna wait to until they're born? :)
The suspense is killing me too!!!!! Are you going to open it?
ReplyDeleteKeeping my fingers crossed that it is a little boy! You should know the joys of a boy.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't resist!! :) Danica
ReplyDeleteAnd did you open it?? I predict a little Johnny Apple Seed:)))
ReplyDeleteHugs my sweet friend
I would wait but if your a planner that could be difficult heheh!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with deciding
Have a decisiontastic week ;-)
Yeah, there's no way I'd wait. I'm too much of a planner. It's so much easier to shop and pick names when I know what's coming.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter if it is a boy or a girl, as long as it is healthy. Yet....I didn't want to know for my first three children, then I wanted to know for the last three. The first were all girls, and the latter three were all boys. Actually I am happy I checked because I only had girl stuff. What great friends and family that I had that gave me a bounty of boy things.
ReplyDeleteI never found out. My OBGYN always had his RN turn the scan backwards so he didn't see it and give anything away. He then had her black out the sex! I knew I was having boys anyway, just a 'gut' feeling I have had since high school. I have three boys!
ReplyDeleteThose are not always 100% correct, but isn't it more fun to wait :) I never wanted to know, I had my own idea (which always proved correct), and I figured after going through labor, confirmation of gender was part of the fun and reward.
ReplyDeleteHow exciting! I had my friend look at my results for me this last time and then make an appliqued onsie with his name (we told her our boy & girl choices) on it that she present to me to open at a party with all of our friends. :) I have boy-girl-boy - they are all fun!
ReplyDeleteSo exciting!!!!!! I wanted to do that but just couldn't stand the suspense!
ReplyDeleteI was so certain on mine that I was having a boy let the tech tell me. And then I was wrong. My man-creature had a gypsy curse put on him as a child to only have girls. There's no getting around that.
ReplyDelete