Witty Comebacks for the Breastfeeding Mother

Funny Breastfeeding Comic, Witty Comebacks

My PERSONAL Favorites have been asterisked. :)

"Are you still nursing?"
This question actually doesn't bother me personally but I guess it does bother some. Of course I have only been breastfeeding for 6 months. So that may be why.

"Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy."
"Yes, he deserves only the very best. "
"Of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him."

"When are you planning on weaning?"

***"When are you planning on minding your own business?"

"I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together."

"I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn."

"Breastfeeding is gross!"

***"So is changing diapers, yet people do it all the time."

"Hello? Did you not realize that humans are mammals?"

"Seems to me that you have some issues you need to work out."

"Why would you want to nurse when you can just get formula?"

"Gee, I don’t know. It must have something to do it with being free, always the right temperature, portable, what nature intended, and the best way I can nourish my baby."

***"Have you checked out the price of formula lately?"

"You should go feed her in the bathroom."

"Do YOU eat in the bathroom?"

***"If my breastfeeding offends you, I will be happy to ask your waiter to bring you your food in the restroom."

"Don’t you want your husband to be able to bond with the baby?"

"You’re right, holding the baby, talking to the baby, changing the baby, bathing the baby, and spending time just being with the baby sure won’t be enough for him to bond with the baby."

"You want to get up in the middle of the night to nurse?"

"I’d rather nurse in my sleep than schlep to the kitchen and try to mix, heat up, and feed my baby formula in my sleep because I sure do love sleeping."

***"We co-sleep. I just roll over, give her the breast, and go back to snoozing!" - I say this one all the time! :)

"Isn't he a little old for that?"

"What?! He's not even out of diapers!"

***"Aren't you a little old to be randomly coming up to strangers and asking impolite questions?"

"He doesn't NEED to nurse at this age!"

(laugh) "Where did you hear that?"

***And you don't NEED to eat that doughnut, but you still are."

Miscellaneous Responses

***"If you are offended by me doing this, then you are looking too closely."

"Do you often look this closely at women's breasts?"

***MY ABSOLUTE FAVE!!!!***"Michael Jordan was breastfed to age THREE. Same with Albert Einstein. Jesus Christ, even LONGER. The day YOU have six NBA Championship rings, a Nobel Prize in Physics and the ability to walk on water, we'll talk. Till then, the subject is CLOSED."

"Get your nose out of my bra."

Breastfeeding is a right the same as the right to choose to formula feed. I don't judge others on their parenting choices and I expect others not to judge me. I am doing nothing wrong. I am feeding my baby. Get over it.

And BTW, I am NOT a Breastfeeding Nazi or whatever rude people choose to call people who are passionate about their decisions. I do however have issues with ANYONE out right saying someone's decision is wrong from either side just because it wasn't the way they chose to do things. My daughter is healthy and her pediatrician is happy. I am not hurting my baby or STARVING her. If I was, then you would have a right to interfere. If you feel the need to judge my parenting style, write it all down in a letter, so I can wad it up and use it as toilet paper.
If you feel this post was directed to you, then maybe that means you should think about your actions and focus on more important things.

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