How to Raise a More Confident Child

Parents, teachers and communities all play a huge role in boosting a child’s self esteem, and doing so is vital for their success. The start of their life is so important for building the confidence they’ll need to handle challenges later on, and generally believe in themselves and their abilities. As the adults around them, it's our job to provide what they need to grow strong and confident. Here’s how we can go about it.

Encouragement Over Criticism

One powerful way to boost a child’s self-esteem is by choosing to encourage them rather than criticize. Instead of pointing out mistakes, focus on their efforts and what they do well. Saying things like "You worked really hard on that" or "I'm proud of your effort" helps them feel good about what they do. The positive approach helps them see mistakes as chances to learn and get better rather than feel shame. Shame is actually at the root of all poor self-esteem, and a child feeling that they’re not good enough in the eyes of the adults around them is a huge problem. They could feel shame about the way they can’t do certain things, the way they look, the way they speak and more. So, encouragement is important, mistakes aren't bad they are opportunities and be mindful of the language you use around children since your opinions of them and the way you speak to them becomes their inner voice later on.

Active Listening and Validation

All child's thoughts and feelings matter, even if the issues they get upset or frustrated about seem small to you. Listening to them without judging shows that what they say is important. Acknowledging their feelings, whether good or bad, helps them understand that it's okay to feel the way they do, that emotions are part of the human experience and all kinds of feelings come and go and that's ok. This shows them that what they think is important, boosting their confidence. If your child is showing worry or fear around a certain thing, such as a new hobby or school, talk through all of the options and look at educational videos and books to help. You can get kids books about anxiety to read together, or you could read parenting self-help books to work out the best ways to help your child.

Setting Realistic Expectations

Setting goals for a child that they can actually reach is important. It's like giving them a challenge that's not too hard but still interesting. When they achieve these smaller goals, it builds their confidence to take on bigger challenges later on. It's about helping them see that they can do things step by step.

Teaching Problem-Solving Skills

Teaching a child how to solve problems gives them such a head start in the way that they think about the world in later life. You want to teach them to see challenges, not problems and to find ways to overcome any issues they come up against- not be paralyzed by them. When they face a challenge, help them break it down into smaller parts. Encourage them to think about different ways to solve each part. This builds their confidence in facing difficulties and shows them that they can figure things out on their own. Letting a child do things on their own is a great way to build self-esteem. Giving them responsibilities, even small ones, shows that you trust them. It might be making their bed, helping with chores, or deciding on a simple task. These little responsibilities help them feel capable and confident in their abilities.

Encouraging Positive Social Interactions

Teaching a child how to make friends and get along with others gives them important social tools. Encourage them to share, take turns, and listen to what others have to say. These simple social skills help them feel confident in social situations, making it easier for them to build connections and friendships. Check out local playgroups, soft play areas and baby and toddler groups in the early years so that your child gets used to being around others and learns what the ‘rules’ around socializing involve. Later, play dates, kids parties and other events are also ways kids get to learn how to interact, what’s ok, what isn’t and how their actions have positive and negative consequences with those around them.

Celebrating Achievements, Big and Small

Celebrate your child's achievements, no matter how small. Whether it's getting a good grade, making a new friend, or learning something new- acknowledging their efforts builds their confidence. It shows them that what they do matters and that they should be proud of themselves.

Promoting a Positive Body Image

Body image is a huge factor in self-esteem. Especially in the modern world when we have access to constant screens that show beautiful people, teaching our children to accept and love themselves really sets them up for success in life. Encourage healthy habits, like eating well and being active, without focusing on appearance. Teach them that bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and what's most important is being healthy and strong. As they get older, teach them about the danger of filters and photoshopping, how not everything they see is real and that it’s ok not to look the way social media portrays.

Participation in Hobbies and Interests

Encouraging a child to explore lots of different hobbies and interests will open doors to self-discovery. Whether it's painting, playing a musical instrument or trying out sports, these activities provide opportunities for them to discover their strengths and passions. Actively participate and show enthusiasm for their interests, cheer them on from the sidelines, celebrate when they reach the next goal and teach them how to lose gracefully since winning isn’t always the most important thing.

Growth Mindset and Openness

Instilling a growth mindset is a powerful tool for developing a child's self-esteem. Teach them that challenges are part of learning and growing. Instead of saying, "I can't do it," encourage phrases like "I can't do it yet." This shift in mindset helps them see that effort leads to improvement and success. Create open channels of communication where they feel comfortable sharing their joys, concerns, and fears. By acknowledging their emotions without judgment, caregivers help build a child's self-esteem, showing them that their feelings are valid and accepted.

Teaching Decision Making Skills

Empowering your child to make decisions, even small ones will all contribute to a sense of autonomy and self-worth. Offer a set number of choices and guide them through decision making processes. This could be as simple as choosing what to wear or deciding on an afternoon activity. Giving options means they’re not overwhelmed with choices but still get a say in what they want.

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