Nanny to Mommy: Why I Watched 13 Reasons Why



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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Why I Watched 13 Reasons Why

I want to say first and foremost: This post may be a trigger for some people. If you or someone you know needs help, visit The Crisis Information for help. Saying that, I know I tend to talk about happy things here. I like to talk about my family, sometimes I like to talk about the ugly side of parenting, and as my children get older, I have noticed that sometimes it can get really ugly. This post is also going to get very personal, so if you just want the happy and fun posts, feel free to stop reading now. This post also might be a little all over the place, but it is real and raw. I honestly have gone back and forth about posting this, but I wanted it to be a conversation starter.


I have spoken multiple times about how difficult parenting can be. And I want to talk about something that although my kids are young, it can start from a very young age. Bullying. It can start as exclusion. And bullying isn't always physical. Rumors are a form of bullying even though it isn't directed to the person's face. If you don't know something to be true because you don't have proof or didn't see it with your own two eyes, then you don't need to say it at all.



When I came across Netflix's new original series "13 Reasons Why", at first I started watching simply because I saw everyone in my news feed was and had to see what the buzz was about. "13 Reasons Why" in case you didn't already know, is about a girl named Hannah Baker and the tapes she has left behind for the people that she feels effected her life so much that she felt obligated to commit suicide.

I continued watching because I was that new girl. Then I watched some more because there were rumors spread about me. Rumors can make you unhappy and that unhappiness can lead to real life altering mistakes. I moved in with my dad and step-mom when I was 13. And because I was the new girl and everyone I had went to school had been friends since elementary school, I was the odd man out.

I kept watching because I knew what was going to happen. And as terrible as that was, I have had thoughts about that. More in my adolescents. Thoughts of "what if I wasn't here?", "What if I didn't exist?" But I did and I do. It was hard to see at some moments that I would get to where I am now. This happy place. Thankfully I never even attempted anything.

Then I continued to watch because I have made a mistake. A mistake that ate at me until I almost couldn't bare it. A mistake I felt I couldn't talk to anyone about because they wouldn't understand. A mistake I didn't know how to fix. But my solution was to run away and move back in with my mom.


What would have helped me more, would have been if my own parents wouldn't have believed the rumors. If they had trusted their daughter. Or at the very least acted like they trusted me and had an open dialogue with me. My parents never talked to me. I don't really think it was their fault. They had never learned how to properly communicate themselves. My dad and step-mom had also set very strict rules that I had to abide by no matter what, which I honestly didn't mind their rules. I actually like rules. That has always been the type of person I have been. I like to follow rules. They knew this about me. My mom still talks about that is how I was when I was younger. She also still to this day asks me about rumors and I'm not sure if she believes me or not.

"13 Reasons Why" was actually based the #1 New York Times best selling novel by the same name and I highly suggest if you are going to watch "13 Reasons Why" to let your teen read the book first. IF you do decide to let them watch "13 Reasons Why", then please sit down and talk to them about it after you watch it first. The reason I suggest reading the book first is because your mind can control how much it can take. And once you watch "13 Reasons Why", you can't un-see what has been seen. The last two episodes can be very difficult to watch, even for an adult.


I do think the message of the show needs to be heard. And my suggestion is to talk to your children. I don't care if they are 6 or 36. Talk to them everyday. My family asks about each other's day at dinner. We don't allow cell phones at the dinner table and that includes the parents. We listen and discuss each other's day, every day. Communication has to be built over time, but it's easy to start small and try to start at an early age. It's important to discuss feelings as well. If you notice changes in your child's appearance or behavior, please talk to them about it. And let them know they didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes I didn't tell my parents things simply because I thought I would get in trouble, when I had actually done nothing wrong.

Our children are constantly trying to figure out their world. We need to teach our children to be mindful of what they say and do as well. We need to teach our sons to respect women and our daughters to respect themselves. When we talk to our children we need to be mindful to go into every conversation with open ears and an open heart.

This post was written to start an open dialogue.

Have you ever had a rumor spread about you? How did that make you feel? Have you ever been bullied or do you know someone who has? What did you do?

Although I am a member of the Netflix Stream Team, I have been a dedicated Netflix member for over six years and will continue to be. All opinions and experiences are my own.

16 comments:

  1. I absolutely agree!! As a woman who had gone through some crazy s++t as a kid I look back now and realized I really needed something. Thankfully I was more manic all the time than depressed or my life may have ended differently. I am lucky to be where I am now but I think teen years scare me for every child!! There's such an intricate blend of delicacy at the age. Raging hormones, puberty, finding yourself (when in reality I don't think most hit maturity till mid 20's) trying to be ok with the self that you do find in the process. I was glad to see this show come about. In an age where bullying and judementalism is so rampant I think teens need more and more support and I think people need to see and feel the repercussions of their actions!! Every choice you make and action you take has a reaction, the butterfly effect ;)

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  2. Just to add to my previous comment....I used to work in a metal health facility and I saw children as young as 7.... 7!!! Who were being bullied by their peers and tried to commit suicide. These were genuine attempts....7!!! Let that sink in. I was so so sad for the world we live in.

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  3. I'm so glad this show has opened a dialogue about suicide, bullying, the cruelty of some children and suffering of other kids. It's so important that we all talk about this and listen to what the kids tell us, too. I'm still not sure I'll watch the series (due to losing a family member to suicide), but I stand behind it 100%.

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  4. Honestly I binged this show.Really loved it. and i think everyone should. Everyone makes mistakes and im not saying suicide is the right think to do because it IS NOT!!! BUT it shows that you truly dont know what other people go through, and to be kind to one another you havent been in anyone else's shoes!

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  5. This show is one that I cannot wait to watch. I think it will be one to remember!

    mia2009(at)comcast(dot)net

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  6. I've heard so many people talking about this movie, how it is a must see and an important message for teenagers and preteens, I plan on binging it soon.

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  7. I'm excited to watch this show.

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  8. I have heard a lot of controversy about this book. They say not to allow your kids to read it. I do like your suggestion of having them read the book first. I, myself, am interested in reading it.

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    1. Some adults are ill informed and thinking this book/show have been the cause of suicides, but it isn't the cause at all. That's why it should be discussed. I believe talking to your child every day just asking how their day was is a simple step to help.

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  9. I think he biggest thing is talking to your kids. You know them best (or should although not always) and know how far they can comprehend something like this. I think where this show would be invaluable, is to those on the other side- those kids that either bully or join in. No one likes to admit their kids 'start things' but it is a fact of life. I think not only could it help give empathy but also help them understand the possible ramifications.

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  10. I have not watch this but I have been reading alot about it. Some say go things others not so good. I guess I am going to have to watch it now and make up my mind on it

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  11. I haven't watched but I plan to. My husband and my mother both said it was intense but worth watching.

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  12. I watched it and I agree with you. Worrying about your kids is absolutely overwhelming at times, especially when you remember things you went through as a kid.

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  13. I haven't watched it yet, I want to read the book first. I really appreciate your point of view. I think this is a perfect opportunity to have conversations about really hard subjects!!

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  14. I do keep hearing about the show. I have not seen it yet, but I am thinking about it.
    twinkle at optonline dot net

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  15. before the movie came out my daughter read this as a class in her sophomore English, so we had had many conversations about the book and the subjects inside, we took a weekend and her and I watched it together the whole thing in one binge, stopping and talking along the way. I actually think it helped open communication between us

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Thank you for dropping by! I would love to hear what you thought. :)

Thanks!
♥,
Diana